Bee Friendly

Tonight Yahoo ran a story glorifying the amazing lives of ex-cons and their new weapon to use against society, bees.

Here you see the face of evil.

But Sock, what could an ex-con do with bees? Well what the fuck couldn't they? Bees sting (which is irritating), they travel in swarms, and worship a queen is their quasi-socialist hive.

The worst part of the situation isn't even the bees, it's the suits of armor we're supplying them with. Not many of you know this, but bee keeper outfits are bullet proof, fire resistant, and most of all immune to bees. If we, as a society, don't put a stop to this molestation of our way of life all our nectar could be gone by next harvest.

If for some forsaken reason this bee/convict alliance is allowed to take place we must all prepare for the aftermath. First of all, build yourself a bee-proof shelter somewhere in your home. It will need steele reinforced concrete walls no less than four feet thick. Secondly, equip yourself with as many flame throwers as possible (purchased at your local Wal-Mart) because bees are really irritated by fire. Last but not least, dispose of all flowers if you care for your life. Alternatively, you can give lots and lots of flowers to people you don't like. Even if they're of the same sex; they won't be around to call you a homo after they're killed by the swarm.