Park Ranger: The Job For You?

Park Ranger: The Job For You?

Being a park ranger, unattainable dream for most, reality for very very few. Two summers ago I had an opportunity to work as a park ranger, I thought to myself; “has my life peaked at 19”. It turned out that it had, but that is besides the point. Despite the seemingly amazing opportunity to act as Law and Order for a state park I thought long and hard about the issues that being a park ranger would bring.

1. Missing picnic baskets.

We all know where missing picnic baskets end up, I think I’ll pass on a face off with a grizzly over a pork chop sandwich.

2. Drowning

drowning totally sucks.

3. Mountain Lion Attacks

being attacked by a mountain lion totally sucks.

4. Forest Fires

if I ever saw a forest, which is slightly frightening when it isn’t on fire, fully engulfed in flames I’d probably quit immediately.

5. Patrolling Remote Areas

trolls live in remote areas.

Despite these concerns I prepared myself for the park ranger interview. Most people know what to expect from your average job interview, but interviewing for a job as a park ranger interview is no ordinary job. So I thought to myself, ‘what would be the best way to prepare for this.’ I immediately knew that I had to grow a beard for the sake of appearing more rugged.

So my rugged beard and I walked into that interview, not knowing what was ahead of us. I introduced myself and my beard and the first question the interviewer asked me was, “how are you with a bow and arrow?” I replied, “never picked up one in my life.” So my career as a park ranger lasted all of 15 seconds, the best 15 seconds of my life.